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Heart's Desire
Photo: Miguel Ugalde
Are you committing porn? I was asked this question recently. The bluntness jolted me. Although it wasn’t directed to me in particular, the author was specifically addressing Christian young women – and he wasn’t suggesting what might come to your mind. Here’s what he says: “At the heart of a guy’s temptation to lust is often desire for sensual and physical pleasure. [But] lust offers women the power to get what they want relationally if they use their sexuality to seduce… When you dress and behave in a way that is designed primarily to arouse sexual desire in men, you’re committing pornography with your life.” *

Those are strong words. “But,” we may say, “Of course I don’t dress ‘primarily to arouse sexual desire in men.’ That would be totally wrong.” True, most of us probably do not consciously dress with such designs. But do we, as young women, need to examine ourselves more carefully? Think about it. We know when we wear a certain outfit and it makes us feel cuter – gets us attention we like. We know when a certain shirt accentuates us just right. We know when those pants fit so snugly. And often, our natural reaction is…to like it. Don’t we?

Following God's Heart

This feeling is warped. God did give us the power to create desire and to want to do so, but not in this way. When we choose to use this power, outside of marriage, creating desire and receiving the affirmation we want (both from guys and our culture in general), we’re trampling that plan. We’re taking something beautiful that God created and twisting it. It won’t fulfill our hearts and bring us real happiness. It will only leave us still searching for the affirmation we long for. Just today as I was standing in a Wal-Mart restroom, I watched a teen girl about my own age stop in front of the mirror. She examined herself: her heavy make-up and jewelry, tight clothing, and almost anorexic body. I could see in her eyes the desperate need to be accepted and appreciated. But the fulfillment wasn’t there and I felt for her. We can only find that true feeling of being loved and accepted when we turn to our Creator, who put those desires in our hearts. Only God can give us all the fulfillment we need and help us save our desires for the time He’s prepared them for.

My own response has been to make a commitment. I commit to seek, in so far as possible, not to dress in a way that will arouse desire when it shouldn’t. My resolution is to dress attractively without dressing to attract (there is a difference!). I choose to turn to God to fulfill my heart. Will you make that commitment with me? Will you give those desires over to God and seek to dress in a way that is pleasing to Him, letting Him fill Your heart?

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By Danae Rittenour. Copyright © 2011 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.
*Harris, Josh. "Not Even A Hint." Multnomah Publishers, Inc.: Sisters, OR. 2003.

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